Grandmothers: Finding inspiration and energy

I recently had the huge pleasure of reading Lisa See’s historical novel Lady Tan’s Circle of Women*. Set in 15th century China, and in some aspects is a horrifying account of lives constrained by the chances of sex and class in those days, I found it evoked in me questions about the extent to which such phenomena continued more subtly into the days of my own childhood and even do now in this day and age.

That aside, it is also a wonderful account of the successful resistance of women to the idea of their being mere possessions of men and going out to help others, particularly other women.

A pivotal character is Lady Tan’s grandmother, a wise and sought-after doctor who takes her young granddaughter under her wing and passes on to her her knowledge and skills. She also fosters nurturing friendships and alliances, notwithstanding that they push against refined social norms of the time, which stand the heroine in good stead for the rest of her life. The grandmother’s self-sufficient, authoritative energy seems to flow though not only her own life but also the lives of others whom she touched.

On a personal level, this story strikes a chord. I only knew one grandparent, as it happened my maternal grandmother, but as time goes on I find myself increasing conscious of the notion that, in the best aspects of my life, I feel I am channelling her energy. What she represented when I was little is what I find most inspiring in life now.

Back in the ‘60s, she was the one who introduced us to  the then novel muesli instead of corn flakes, who read us The Hobbit and who had a book on her table written by Teilhard de Chardin. She was the ‘avant garde’ one in our family. She had an enquiring, curious, lively and open mind, albeit deeply religious and conservatively brought up.

She was always open to exploring new ideas, bringing together and nurturing body, mind, soul and spirit. These are qualities that, when I am being my best self, I find I have within and which I do believe from time-to-time touch others.

Early in my education as a coach I was introduced to the idea of ‘power-sources’. These are things or people (real or fictional) that one can bring to mind when one is in need of energy or inspiration. One might ask “who or what out there can you think of that you find inspiring and energising? What are the qualities they have with which you resonate?”

In the first instance, of course knowing who or what is a power-source for you can be helpful, as something or someone to bring to mind when you need a ‘lift’. The deeper learning is that the reason for the resonance is that the very qualities you admire in the other are qualities that reside inside you too – which is actually why they mean anything at all to you in the first place.

It is just that layers of life and experience can hide the gems within, even (or perhaps most of all!) from ourselves.  

(Reference above came from: * See, L (2023), Lady Tan's Circle of Women London: Scribner)