Perhaps you are struggling with a life-change or a dilemma of some sort. We can encounter difficulties in relationships – at home or at work – and we can suffer the loss of a relationship. We may identify with roles – in jobs and professions or within families – which we find are gone, perhaps through illness, redundancy, retirement, children flying the nest…and coming to terms with these losses can be difficult. We may have made mistakes in life or feel we have failed, or are failing, in some way or been, or are, inadequate, and we can get stuck in self-blame and loss of hope. The career may have come to feel unrewarding, but we can find we do not know what to do about it.
Mostly, a person comes to coaching because something is not ok in their life, and it is not getting better. There is a feeling of oppression, of being stuck. They may feel there is something wrong with them that needs ‘to be fixed’.
Sometimes there are skills to be taught. These can often be learned on courses, from books, or from articles, on- or offline.
Coaching itself can come into its own by exploring, playing with and rehearsing such skills in a safe, trusted environment. And/or it can help identify habitual patterns of reaction embedded in the personality, and in that growing awareness foster the ability to choose and experiment with alternative, more helpful responses.
Or we can go deeper.
Depth coaching is about helping a person explore and find their core values; what really matters to them, what do they yearn for, and why?
How does whatever is going on ‘out there’ in the environment align with or offend what really matters to us? What can we do to change our environment, or to change ourselves, to remove the friction?
For that matter, how do our own personalities and ‘rules for living’ align or interfere with our core values? Particularly at times of stress, how often do we defeat ourselves and what we truly want to see through instinctive reaction?
The point is, we start not with the ‘problem’ but with the self and core values. We explore these, then work towards aligning life with them. It is not about compromising our true selves to conform to or ‘cope with’ the environment, it is about aligning our environment with our true selves.
Which is not to exclude that sometimes there is alignment which we simply fail to see, or that in working on ourselves we can find a whole new point of view, another perspective, and also discover how our own reserves and values can create change for the better in the world (near and/or far).
Whether you are facing a major life transition or you just feel that things are not as you would like, I will help you find your way towards change, resourcefulness, resolution to dilemmas and a sense of possibility. I will help you come to accept what can’t be changed, and support and challenge you identify and face up to whatever you must to achieve the change you want – whatever that might be.
If you would like to explore any of this further, please make contact with me.
